Saturday, January 10, 2015

Goodbye to the old, Hello to the new

" Without action, you aren't going anywhere."  - Mahatma Gandhi

2015.  This is my year of action.  A change of paths.  Beginning a new era.  It has been a long time in the works, but it is now all starting to come together.  I am leaving behind my Exercise Science background and pursuing my real passion- the medical field.  I've had a lot of doubts, regrets, and questions over the past few years upon making this decision.  But I know that it is the right one for my family, but also more importantly me.  That sounds selfish when I type it out, but it's true.  How can I be 100% to my family if I am not truly happy with myself?  When I am often thinking about what if, if only, and I wish.

My goal in life is to reconcile all regrets.  I am not naive enough to think I will die with no regrets, but I would like to think that I can come to terms with some of them.

   -  What if I hadn't gone to Lindenwood?

         I  may not have gotten to marry my best friend.
         I wouldn't have had a full scholarship, and would probably still be paying off student loans for the          next 10 years.

   -  If only I had chosen a medical profession from the beginning?

         Actually, I did, I just minored in it.  Unfortunately, I was unaware that certain science classes expire after a certain amount of time when you are trying to apply to future programs.

   -  I wish I had chosen a different major.

          Only because I knew I didn't want that to be my career.  I loved the major, loved my classes, loved the people I went to school with.  I loved that I could major in a field that I had a passion for, as well as minor in one that took care of the prerequisites I needed for my future education.  I just didn't love the future career choices.  Or the salary.  Live and learn.  I also love that I have this wellness background and the community that I have gotten to meet because of it.  I feel like it was important choice and benefit to myself and my future family.

That is the past, and I am finally moving forward.  I recently sent in my application to SLU for their accelerated second BS in nursing program.  If accepted, I start this summer as a full time student, which will be a crazy jump for this family of 3.  Once completion of the nursing program, I am going to apply to their nurse practitioner program.  Luckily, it's mostly all online, so I can start work right away as I finish up my schooling.  They have a masters program as well as a doctorate program.  I am leaning more towards the doctorate program, but the masters program would be quicker.  Luckily, I have time to decide.  Another plus is that I have a dear friend from high school who is also undergoing the same career change as me... this year!  Even though we are far apart, I won't feel so alone in this upcoming life change.  

This is the first time I am making this knowledge public to anyone besides my closest friends and family.  Partly because I wasn't sure I would be able to do it.  Partly because I am not sure if I will get accepted into the program.  But also, mainly because I was afraid what people would say.  In my head, I hear people judging me for going back to school full time because I won't be able to be at home with my daughter as much.  Or laughing that I didn't get it right the first time.  Or that I will be swamped with homework and school, and not working so I won't contribute financially to our household.  So, this is me openly sharing my hopes and dreams for my future with you.  I have a lot of goals set for myself, and this is just the beginning!  Any prayers along the way would be much appreciated as we undergo this journey.  It is going to be a definite change for us 3, and I can only hope that Eva is able to handle it okay.  It will hopefully make it easier for this momma to deal with, because I know I will be missing her like crazy! 

That is goal number one for 2015. Get accepted into SLU and get my BSN.  The nurse practitioner goal will be for next year.

Stay tuned for my other New Years Goals :) 
And here's a picture of Eva--






       

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