One point five

This is what she does when I ask her to smile....

Take two... pretending to be a rhinoceros

Eva is 18 months!!! She is growing like a little bean sprout, in more ways than one.  Her personality and vocabulary has made leaps these past few months, and her legs are finally starting to grow a little bit.  She is as sweet as she is feisty.  I think we have our hands full.  I probably say this every post, but THIS is my favorite age so far.  She learns a new word or two every day.  I really have to watch what I say around her.  She is my little clone and repeats every word I utter.  She does so many things each day that make my heart smile.  I want to take her picture 100 times a day when she does these cute little poses or has an adorable expression or basically anything she does.  I'm pretty much obsessed.  I guess it's like this for every mom and their first born.  She just feels extra special to me because she's my first biological family member I've ever known.  My one and only blood connection to this earth.  Seems pretty special to me :)

We started baby gymnastics this month!  The first week didn't go very well.  She has been extra clingy lately, and gymnastics was no exception.  It was hard for me to put her down, so I was basically holding her the whole time while she cried and told me which things she did NOT want to do.  The next week went a bit better, and this past week even better.  She is warming up to the class and the people.  She's the youngest and the smallest one there too, so she can't do as much as the other girls, but I think she will enjoy everything once she warms up and tries it.  She even made a little friend!  She smiles every time I say her name :)

We had her 18 month appointment recently as well.  Poor little girl is below the 1% for her height! Guess she's going to be short like mama :)  Unfortunately, the doctor noticed a heart murmur that she never heard before.  She said it's most likely nothing to worry about, and that Eva will most likely grow out of it.  However, she's sent us to Cardinal Glennon for an echo to get things checked out.  I was so proud of my little nugget.  She didn't shed one tear, and she laid completely still on my lap while the tech stuck electrodes on her back and checked out her torso with the ultrasound.  We are still waiting to hear the results from that, so any prayers until then would be much appreciated!  

Goodbye to the old, Hello to the new

" Without action, you aren't going anywhere."  - Mahatma Gandhi

2015.  This is my year of action.  A change of paths.  Beginning a new era.  It has been a long time in the works, but it is now all starting to come together.  I am leaving behind my Exercise Science background and pursuing my real passion- the medical field.  I've had a lot of doubts, regrets, and questions over the past few years upon making this decision.  But I know that it is the right one for my family, but also more importantly me.  That sounds selfish when I type it out, but it's true.  How can I be 100% to my family if I am not truly happy with myself?  When I am often thinking about what if, if only, and I wish.

My goal in life is to reconcile all regrets.  I am not naive enough to think I will die with no regrets, but I would like to think that I can come to terms with some of them.

   -  What if I hadn't gone to Lindenwood?

         I  may not have gotten to marry my best friend.

         I wouldn't have had a full scholarship, and would probably still be paying off student loans for the          next 10 years.

   -  If only I had chosen a medical profession from the beginning?

         Actually, I did, I just minored in it.  Unfortunately, I was unaware that certain science classes expire after a certain amount of time when you are trying to apply to future programs.

   -  I wish I had chosen a different major.

          Only because I knew I didn't want that to be my career.  I loved the major, loved my classes, loved the people I went to school with.  I loved that I could major in a field that I had a passion for, as well as minor in one that took care of the prerequisites I needed for my future education.  I just didn't love the future career choices.  Or the salary.  Live and learn.  I also love that I have this wellness background and the community that I have gotten to meet because of it.  I feel like it was important choice and benefit to myself and my future family.

That is the past, and I am finally moving forward.  I recently sent in my application to SLU for their accelerated second BS in nursing program.  If accepted, I start this summer as a full time student, which will be a crazy jump for this family of 3.  Once completion of the nursing program, I am going to apply to their nurse practitioner program.  Luckily, it's mostly all online, so I can start work right away as I finish up my schooling.  They have a masters program as well as a doctorate program.  I am leaning more towards the doctorate program, but the masters program would be quicker.  Luckily, I have time to decide.  Another plus is that I have a dear friend from high school who is also undergoing the same career change as me... this year!  Even though we are far apart, I won't feel so alone in this upcoming life change.  

This is the first time I am making this knowledge public to anyone besides my closest friends and family.  Partly because I wasn't sure I would be able to do it.  Partly because I am not sure if I will get accepted into the program.  But also, mainly because I was afraid what people would say.  In my head, I hear people judging me for going back to school full time because I won't be able to be at home with my daughter as much.  Or laughing that I didn't get it right the first time.  Or that I will be swamped with homework and school, and not working so I won't contribute financially to our household.  So, this is me openly sharing my hopes and dreams for my future with you.  I have a lot of goals set for myself, and this is just the beginning!  Any prayers along the way would be much appreciated as we undergo this journey.  It is going to be a definite change for us 3, and I can only hope that Eva is able to handle it okay.  It will hopefully make it easier for this momma to deal with, because I know I will be missing her like crazy! 

That is goal number one for 2015. Get accepted into SLU and get my BSN.  The nurse practitioner goal will be for next year.

Stay tuned for my other New Years Goals :) 

And here's a picture of Eva--

       

The Holiday Season... Whoop Dee doo!

We've kept busy throughout this holiday season.  Andy's unit got activated for Ferguson, so I was flying solo for about 2 weeks during Thanksgiving.  Needless to say, I got a little behind on schoolwork, cleaning, and Christmas shopping.  So, by the time he got home, I was in full on catch up mode.  Up until December 23rd, I felt like my schedule was jam packed! Luckily, I was able to pull off buying and wrapping everyone's Christmas presents, and it ended up being a really enjoyable Christmas.  

We got to spend a lot of time with family, and Eva had a lot of fun eating good food and opening presents.   I think it was a combination of getting to spend so much time with family, all the extra treats around, and the new toys, but she was in baby heaven.  She wasn't a big fan of Santa this year.  I took her to the mall, and she cried the instant I set her on his lap.  Even when Andy's dad dressed up as Santa this year, she freaked out.  Poor traumatized Eva-Diva.  Speaking of Diva, check out this super cute "throne" she got from Andy's parents!  She loves it... absolutely loves it.  She likes to run over to it and say "sit."  Or climb on top of it to get things off of the table.  She has become quite the little monkey these past few months.

(toes pointed)

(cousins)

(dancing)

Which brings me to my next topic, the fateful ER visit.  A few weeks ago, I was wrapping Christmas presents on our kitchen table.  Eva has figured out how to climb up on the chairs by herself, and she likes to sit and stand on them.  Unfortunately, on this occasion, she was wearing tights, and she slipped right off of the chair next to me and hit her head really hard!  She started crying, and within 7 seconds, started projectile vomiting all over her dress, my shirt, my arm, her tights, my jeans, my Uggs, and the floor.  I ended up stripping all our clothes in the sink, changing clothes and taking her straight to the ER in case she had a concussion.  Andy met us at the hospital, but luckily all they needed to do was monitor her for 3 hours.  She got graham crackers and apple juice and even a little coloring book and teddy bear.  Keeping her occupied in a room for 3 hours was a bit of a struggle, but she did fine.  In the 10 minute trip home, she fell asleep.  I felt bad waking her, because she decided on this special day she was only going to nap 45 minutes.  So, I laid her on the couch under a blanket for 15 minutes while I got dinner ready.  I went to wake her up, but she was so crabby!  She didn't want to be woken, but I figured it was the right thing to do.  As soon as I picked her up though, she puked all over my shirt again and all over the floor.  Yay.  I called the hospital pediatrician back again, but they didn't seem concerned, and said kids vomiting after a head injury was normal but to follow up with my normal pediatrician the next day or call back if something changed.  Followed up with her pedi and everything ended up checking out fine.  In fact, a lot of people in my family ended up spreading around a stomach virus right after that too, including Eva.  I'm wondering if it was a complete untimely coincidence.  Who knows, but it was definitely a scary moment for the both of us!

As far as New Years goes, we rang in 2015 in our jammies.  Eva tucked in bed, and Andy and I were in bed at a reasonable time too.  I worked on New Years morning at the hospital, so I needed to get to bed early.  I did get to head over to my parents afterwards for our annual eggs benedict brunch.  Such a fun family tradition that I look forward to every year!

Next post will be Eva's 18 month update as well as some New Years thoughts and plans.